For a while now I have been getting tired of the twisting and misuse of many words- "war", "peace", "ignorant", "progressive", and in particular- "liberal".  Using the word in its true meaning, it would be difficult to describe this blog or any of us as Liberals.

Despite the lack of discussion on the conflict in Iraq at the DNC, rest assured that Barack has a plan. Read all about it below the fold...  

Like many newspapers The Washington Post has been losing readers and advertisers.

Looking at the market they realize that it is the internet that is to blame.

Sure you could say that the fact that WaPo now (like many newspapers) is beholden to political leaders and large corporations might have something to do with it. But no, it is 100% the fault of the internet.

It is just too easy for people to have a voice.

With apologies to Monty Python for the blatant ripoff...

This diary may sound a bit cold-hearted, but I am getting sick of listening to prisoner stories from McCain.

First it was drawing shapes in the dirt with sticks, and has lately progressed to being denied tables, tables, tables, and chairs.

If he wants to play the commiseration game, then bring it on...

STAGE INSTRUCTIONS:  Do not say the parts in parenthesis.  Try not to look confused.  Do not attempt to smile -- children are watching and they frighten easily.

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TelePrompTer: Three Screens to give appearance
that McCain is not actually reading from
TelePrompTer.  VERY large type.  Please remember,
the Senator is 122 years old and vision is bad
because he was a POW.

Transcript follows this line.

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(Allow several seconds for light-to-moderate clapping, perhaps intermixed with whistles, catcalls, or noisemakers of some kind)

Say I was doing a webcast or some such radio show and I wanted to talk about John McCain. What song would I use to introduce the segment?

Why that's easy. Songbird by Oasis.

Now I need to figure out what songs can be applied to the possible veep candidates on the GOP side. For example, Tim Pawlenty is also easy - "London Bridge is Falling Down". (I know - I'm a bit tacky that way.)

I'm having a bit of trouble thinking up others. F'rinstance, what about Mitt Romney? Rudy Giuliani? Mike Huckabee? (Difficulty: No Flatt and Scruggs) Rob Portman?

The Bush administration's department of Health and Human Services recently proposed a new regulation to allow health care workers who oppose abortion to deny legal services that conflict with their beliefs.

Let's imagine that reframed, just a bit...

If you’re a restaurant worker opposed to meat-eating, you soon likely will be able to refuse diners who ask for such food.

The Bush administration announced a controversial proposed regulation designed to protect wait staff, cooks and others who work at places receiving government money from being forced to deliver services that violate their personal beliefs. It’s an effort to protect vegetarians from workplace discrimination.

The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) said the proposed regulation would boost compliance of three separate laws protecting federally funded food-service providers’ "right of conscience."

And you're invited!  That is right.  I'm on the McCain mailing list, and today the campaign invited me to throw the white haired dude a party.  Seems he's giving another speech and he's really famous so a lot of people are going to watch it.  Cool. I hope they use that green backdrop again.

Sign up to host your own party or find a Convention watch party near you by visiting JohnMcCain.Com/McCainNation. Once you create your party we will send you an official host kit with all the information you will need to host a great Convention watch party. Get started today to be a part of the excitement on September 4th! Supplies are limited, so please make sure to sign up by August 29th.

....more...

My Friends,

Obviously, the presidential election is our focus right now. But there are other races going on too. Races that deserve our attention. I am, of course, referring to the current battle for the heart and soul of McDonaldland.

A big shout-out to the Alaskan Republican Party!  Way to bring the pain to those Chicken Littles who said the good times were at an end for the Republican Culture of Corruption!  Just 'cause Senator Ted Stevens' lobbyist friends gave him a condo, his daughter a car and his son a job for a few million in legislative favors... doesn't mean that he shouldn't keep representing Alaska in Washington.  After all, the guy only has two houses (that we know of).  Other Republican senators have seven... or ten... or twelve.

Ted "Political favors available on a sliding schedule -- cars, jobs for my family, home-renovations and ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED" Stevens has won the endorsement of the Republican Party to run for reelection -- and to hit up lobbyists for a few hundred thousand bucks worth of work on his condos in Alaska and DC!

[Stevens] topped his closest competitor by more than 35 points.

Some convention week fun...hope you enjoy.

Following Hillary Clinton's solid performance in her speech last night, the Washington Association of News for Keeping Excessive Reporting (WANKER) has issued an emergency request for donations to its research department.

In their statement, spokesman Claude Badley said that without a phony controversy that paints the Democratic party in a bad light, many pundits are unable to make comments on politics.

Katie Couric has already been observed interviewing a lady whose Chihuahua can play the bag pipes, for example.

Below, a partial composite text of this morning’s newspaper analyses, had the primary results gone the other way [with thanks to the Wall Street Journal, RCP, the American Spectator, the Guardian [sic], and countless others who churn out the same meaningless drivel in search of "drama". You want drama? Then go to the Julliard Drama School]:

So, I'm sitting here perusing DailyKos over my home-made caprese salad topped with basil from the plant growing in my window and sipping a nice '06 Zin (are you jealous of my California lifestyle? well, you should be!) when I come across a link to a story about one "John Sidney McCain" (h/t to DavidNYC).

My first thought is something along the lines of "tee hee hee, the big scary war hero's named Sidney! *points and giggles*," closely followed by a self-censorious and perhaps just a bit prissy "come on, man, show some maturity!" But, upon further reflection, I've got to wonder — why the hell does the whole country not know his middle name is Sidney?

After all the veepstakes speculation, after all the Hillary suckage, after all the pundit nonsense, the fact remains that Joe Biden will be Barack's running mate.  For anyone that thought Senator Obama wasn't ready to throw an elbow, his VP pick was perhaps the best rebuttal to that argument.  You want a pit bull?  You will never do better that Joe Biden.  

I love Joe Biden. All of his flaws aside, the man is a salt of the earth trench fighter that our party all to often lacks.  He will work the ground game and be the point offence whenever required.  He has been the first on his feet and loudest supporter of our party since his nomination by Senator Obama and I can't imagine a better guy for the dirty job that lies ahead.  Want proof?  This is an intercepted IM exchange (that I totally made up and fabricated) between the two Senators tonight.

BREAKING:  McCain logs on

John McCain, eager to show that he is part of the new generation and understands the internets, logged on this evening.

And, OMG, I was able to get a copy of his first email, sent to Karl Rove.

Karl:

I thought I'd email you to bring you up to date.  I've been spending time between campaign stops practicing how to send an email and learning all the different parts of a computer, just like you said. This email will be short because, as you know, we're having a meetup at one of my homes tonite to watch the Hillary speech and Cindy is already giving me the eye that it's almost time to throw the steakburgers on the grill.  

As you know, we had a leak in our roof earlier today and I had roofers running around here all day today so that the rain doesn't put a damper on this evenings' gathering.  The landscapers are cutting the lawns and I think Mitt may be arriving soon.  He's a little late......I got the kiddies out front monitoring the road for him.   I'll continue logging this email later after the guests leave........Later.

Hey, Whiners™!

If you're like me, you felt the sting of Former McCain Advisor® Phil Gramm's calling us out for complaining about the current, piss-poor state of the economy. Whiner? Ouch! Color me red. Phil musta been standing the next pump over as I cursed the Shrub's name while paying $59 to fill up my tank last month. Or when I muttered a few more choice words about the price of milk at the local grocery story.

Once I got over the bite of Phil's words, though, folks, I knew he was absolutely right. What Whiners™ like us need is a personal economic recovery plan...say, a 12-step plan similar to the one Miz McCain entered to kick her addiction to stolen prescription drugs. The kind of plan only a bona fide POW® is capable of delivering.

More below: